Our heart is a sacred space. Being conscious of what we allow in is of highest priority. How we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us is a way of identifying what we allow in. The language we use is probably the most powerful to heal or destroy our sacred heart’s space.


Long ago I was incredibly mean to myself. I believed I was the dumbest person in the world. In my mind, the constant chatter was stupid this, dumb that. Today, I can’t understand how being so cruel and compassionless to myself was so normal.  I would call myself stupid at least a hundred times a day. It wasn’t until I was in college and a mentor of mine identified this behavior as a problem. I had no idea it was a problem; I just saw it as truth. He made me question why I would speak to myself in that manner, and I began to realize how much I was destroying my spirit on a daily basis. Most importantly, he asked me if I thought I was stupid. Surprisingly the answer was no.

I grew up with a mother who made me feel that nothing I did was ever good enough. Every day I disappointed her, the conclusion: I was stupid. So I am not surprised calling myself stupid as an adult became a habit. I allowed her words into my heart and made them my own. Protect your heart be aware of what you allow in. Set a boundary for yourself and others. Bring people into your life that love and respect you.

Understanding and Identifying what you are allowing in:

How much longer would I have sustained belief that I didn’t even fully recognize as true? At first, the habit was hard to break because “stupid” was how I identified myself. Thankfully the word was more of a knee-jerk reaction and did not carry the weight it had before. Slowly “stupid” was removed from my everyday language. That kind of talk is exceedingly rare now; it comes infrequently, and I can identify it as some past residual beliefs.

Why and how do we put up with self-abuse?

Why are allowing these beliefs into our heart? Why would we engage with things that apparently do not serve us? Are you choosing not to love yourself and choosing language that perpetuates beliefs that are simply not true?


Create a list of things that does not nurture, love or honors who you are.

  • I don’t always listen to my inner guidance.
  • I don’t make more of an effort to do the things I want to do.
  • I critique myself way too much with anything and everything that I do.
  • I don’t consistently fill myself back up because I love to give so much.

Now that you have identified the blocks that don’t allow love to flow through you take note and be mindful when those things come up. How can we choose love instead? Bring compassion to yourself. You are doing the best you can at this very moment. Allow yourself to be a vessel and fill yourself with love.

Don’t know how to love yourself?

Think then, if I did love myself what would I do?

  • I would take more time to do more of the things that inspire me.
  • I would buy myself flowers.
  • I would take a workshop to become better at organizing and utilizing my time.
  • I would move my body every day because it brings me so much joy.


“I am aware of what I bring into my heart. I am changing my thoughts, words, and actions making it easier to honor and love who I am.”


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