Yes, breaking up is hard to do.

This post is one of many that I plan on writing about break-ups. Most of us know the ties that bind us in our relationships can be quite intense. When these links are broken, the pain can be unbearable.

Even though many of us have experienced several break-ups, we tend to feel like no one understands our suffering. The truth is that yes our bonds are filled with complexities unique to our individual experience because we are our complete universe, but that does not mean others cannot understand or be empathetic. An outside perspective may allow us to see the bigger picture of why the relationship had to shift and change giving us a more holistic perspective.

Sharing openly with others

Having open conversations with many people about a break up commands new knowledge, new ways of thinking that you couldn’t see on your own and can help mend some of your broken heart. And perhaps what we believed to be unique to our relationships may be more common than expected.

With this post, in particular, I’m hoping we can concentrate on one of the many gifts that come from a break-up.

What good can come from such pain?

A break up can BREAK US OPEN! Because we are vulnerable, and our heart is shattered into a million pieces we are forced into new ways of being! We are compelled to change radically. Our internal universe has been turned upside down, which of course is alarming at first, but if you allow yourself the courage a dynamic transformation can occur.

Rising like a Phoenix

A new phase of life has been forced upon us, why not accept the challenge and understand that we are now in a place of power. We have been given the chance to completely reinvent ourselves. The choice is ours now, every step we take forward or back. We can now make the decision to be anything we want to be. We are obliged to give everything to ourselves! To let go, fully embrace and accept who we are right now at this moment and who we also envision ourselves to be.

Clearly, this way of thinking can begin at any phase in our life, but I believe that a break-up, in particular, gives us an advantage. We were in a space where we were apart of someone, now that part of us has been ripped out. We are missing a part of ourselves and feel it on a visceral level. That truth leaves us wide open to change, rebirth, creating a new window of self-discovery that was not there before.

Sharing: It’s not all sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows

I’d be a liar if I did not admit that I still suffer. I mourn the loss of my best friend til this day. I miss so many moments it’s ridiculous. But, I integrate that suffering from the woman I have become. I trust the decisions I have made for myself. I have done the best I can. I love and accept myself fully most of the time and allow myself the grace when doubt comes in.

Be kind to yourself. You have already suffered a great loss, give yourself the compassion and courage to stay open to a new you that is being discovered.


“I have been cracked open to experience a radical change. I am open to new ways of being. I have the courage to embrace the new me. I love and accept myself fully. ” 




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